Have You Hugged Your Teenager Today?

by Karen Finn

Ha! Did this caption catch your attention, Moms? In this fast-paced, technology-saturated age we live in, it becomes increasingly difficult to pause and pamper the young adults we have been entrusted by the Lord to raise. Was your most recent physical contact a high five or a quick pat on the back as they hurried out the door? Have you complimented them lately on a job well done, or have you consistently focused on a flaw which gets under your skin?

The awkward passage rites of adolescence seem to erect walls within a home….sometimes overnight. (Or at least it appears that way!) The need for privacy, the sullenness (a fancy word for brooding) and the hormonal mood swings could be some of the primary culprits that cause the upheaval and tension. This same young person, who raids the kitchen pantry and forgets to feed the dog, is the same child you cradled in your arms, the one who sought you out on stormy nights for comfort.

When was the last time you showed some sign of affection to the terrific teenager who will carry on your family legacy? Will his/her memories of these influential years bring to mind an era of gentleness and playful interactions or an image of brusqueness and detachment? The balance is a tricky one to maintain at times; however, God has equipped us with the perfect Guide: His Word.

Psalm 86:5 tells us: “But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth.” If our goal as a Christian is to be Christ-like, then this verse should describe us as well! Other citations from the Scriptures reveal God’s character as: slow to anger (Psalm 103:8), faithful (1Corinthians 1:9) and forgiving (Ephesians 4:32)—just to name a few. It is our responsibility to develop the same qualities and exemplify them in our lives as mothers.

Full of wisdom and direction, the Bible will provide us with all the knowledge, discernment and guidance we need for parenting effectively. Allow your son/daughter to see that your dependence is upon the Lord. Pray daily that God will equip you with patience, understanding and a listening ear. Too swiftly the years will be spent, and our task of training them up completed.

Years ago, I read a poem which depicted the fleeting phases of youth into adulthood. Notice how accelerated the duration of development becomes in these six stanzas:

My newborn babe

Struggles from my arms

And toddles off to school.

A tall young man accompanies her home.

Their child brings me

My glasses and shawl.*

The sentimental years of child-rearing need not be affiliated with growing pains—namely yours. Take time out today to thank God for your children-whether they be young or old.

P.S. Make sure to give them a hug!

* Taken from Children Are Wet Cement, Anne Ortlund.

The Power of the Tongue

By Karen Finn

Numerous times I reflect back on my upbringing. I was raised in the city, so there was a certain hardness that I acquired as a result of being street-smart savvy. Name-calling; teasing; spreading false information and telling “little white lies”~ all were a daily dose of the language system that I communicated with friends and family.

James 3:5 tells us that “the tongue is a little member and boasteth great things. Behold how great a matter a little fire kindleth”. Once a spark begins to smolder, it doesn’t take long for it to develop into a raging blaze. It can set us on a course of destruction, leaving behind a trail of hurt and desolation. Yet the same fire which possesses the ability to maim can be the warmth we seek when chilled to the bone. Under different circumstances, its intensity and constancy can be a balm which restores and refreshes our weary souls. Our speech carries the same powerful energy.

Remember the childhood chant: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me”? That’s not true. Names do hurt. And so do the false innuendos, the cover-ups, the negative and critical comments. We need to choose our words carefully and realize we can not control or reverse the damage they can do.

Ephesians 4:29 states “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth

but that which is good to the use of edifying.” Worthless words and useless conversation are not constructive. The Greek definition for edify can be interpreted as “to be a house-builder”. Think of your speech as a form of architecture, which has the power to produce a magnificent mansion or reduce it to rubble! Which structure would you rather create?

Overcoming Anger and Wrath

Part One: Being a Doer of the Word: James 1:18-25

Dr. Craig Brandick

I can still remember sitting in my Junior Sunday school class learning the verse that we adopted as our Junior motto: James 1:21 “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” We opened every class with that verse, and our teachers did a wonderful job of teaching us that we needed to be doers of the Word in every area of life. While this is true, God had inspired James to write this with a very specific purpose. We do well to remember that no verse, text, letter, or book of the Bible was written in a vacuum. Every verse, text, letter, and book was written to answer a specific issue among the people who first received its message.

So it is with James. James was written very early in the history of the church. The readers were Jews who had trusted Jesus the Messiah as Savior; but they still lived, for the most part, as their community had lived for centuries. At the center of the community was a rabbi, a master or teacher. He was the “go-to” guy. He held prominence, power, and prestige in the community—and everyone wanted to be like him. That is why James gives the instruction to be “not many masters” (3:1), and warns them that the wisdom from above is pure, peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, merciful and full of good fruits, impartial, and without hypocrisy. (3:17). In short, godly wisdom was described by everything that they were not. James 4:1-4 teaches that they were sinning severely against each—because they could not get what they wanted. And this wrath was specifically was James was speaking of in the command to be doers of the word. The context of the verse covers James 1:18-25:

¹⁸Of his own will begat he us with the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.

¹⁹Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

²⁰For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

²¹Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.

²²But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.

²³For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass:

²⁴For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.

²⁵But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.

As we look at these verses, a pattern or structure can be seen that shows us the thoughts of each verse and delivers the main idea of the text.

A. God gave birth to us through his Word, (18a)

B. For the purpose that we would be a holy sacrifice as his own special possession. (18b)

C. And we know that we must cease from wrathful speech and actions. (19)

C’. Because wrath does not produce the righteousness of God. (20)

B’. So we must lay aside uncleanness, and remaining wickedness, (21a)

A’. While we humbly grasp hold of that very same Word by which we are saved. (21b)

So be doers of the Word, and not just hearers! (22-25)

So what was God telling us through James?

“God gave birth to you through His Word so that you would be like a holy sacrifice for him—like the first fruit sacrifice you are to be completely His. Now, you know full well that you need to knock off your wrathful speech and actions because that does not produce the righteousness that you should have as God’s own possession. So get rid of that uncleanness and remaining wickedness and grab hold of that same Word by which you were saved—by which God gave birth to you. Grasp hold of it, but this time do what it says, don’t just be hearer! If you only hear the Word, you will be like someone who looks in a mirror and then forgets what he looks like.”

At the very core of being a doer of God’s Word is the putting away of wrath. God has given birth to us through His Word so that we can live in a way that honors Him as his own special possession. Interestingly, James ties this to wisdom and knowledge. How often do we get angry when we feel that someone is not recognizing that we are right? When that happens we may feel that we are not getting the attention or respect that we deserve, or that we are being deprived of some position, possession, or ideal.

In my next blog, I will be expanding on the following questions to ask in order to assess our upsets and overcome wrath. I invite you this week to look at the following questions and the verses.

Assessing our Upsets:

1. Does my upset respond against actual sin (as biblically defined)? (Mark 3:1-6)

2. Does my upset focus on God and His kingdom (not me or my kingdom)? (Mark 10:13-16)

3. Does my upset coexist with godly qualities and express itself in godly ways? (Galatians 5:19-26; 1 Peter 2:21-25)

These questions come from the observations of Robert Jones in his work, “Uprooting Anger,” 30-39. The book is available in the counseling section of our bookstore.

While anger is not a sin, we often sin in our anger. We can overcome sinful anger by assessing our upsets and acting as doers of God’s Word.

Life in Christ

by Nick Fox

Nothing should thrill our hearts more than the good news that Christ paid our ransom and has forgiven us our sins. What is amazing about Christian College is your interaction with the Word of God. You are immersed in biblical teaching seemingly 24/7. What I aim to do with my writings is to show others what God is teaching me through my devotions, chapel, church, and classes. God has been teaching the same thing in two different classes this semester. In both my Systematic Theology class and my Romans class we have been going through the same passage, Romans 5:12-21. Now from a theological standpoint this is an important passage on how we got our sin nature and even though I believe that is important, that is not where I want to focus today. I actually want to focus on what I think the most focus of the passage really is. We have been given life through the death of Jesus Christ our Lord. Adam’s sin brought death to all, but the good news is that Christ’s act of love conquered death giving us freedom, meaning eternal life. Just like death has come to all men through Adam, life can come to all men through Christ. A passage like this makes me so thankful for the grace that God has given me through Christ.

Now what do we do with this? It’s easy to read a passage like this and say that we can do whatever we want because it is all forgiven. The opposite is actually true. We have been given a higher standard because of Christ. At Northland we switched from demerits to just two rules: Love God and Love Others. At first glance that seems pretty simple right? To be honest, it’s hard. I am expecting to still do all the things I was doing before just now my motivation has changed. The same is true in our Christian walk. We have been forgiven by God and we are commanded to love and serve him. The answer is total dependence on God. We praise the Apostle Paul for his life, but if we were to ask him how he lived such a God-glorifying life he would say that God was the one that enabled him to do this. I’m studying for a sermon on Philippians 3:7-10 and Paul counted all else as nothing for the sake of knowing God. So I encourage you that since we have been granted forgiveness through the cross of Christ, strive to know God. Make it your goal to know more about God daily.

The Purpose and Price of Purity

by: Karen Finn

Proverbs 31:10: “Who can find a virtuous woman?

For her price is far above rubies.”

I have read this verse many times, and have always thought of it as a challenge to the woman. As Proverbs 31 goes on to list all of the traits of this unique lady, I get exhausted thinking of what I have to live up to in order to meet the qualifications! But…guess what?! The theme of this passage is not only for women to develop godly attributes, but verse ten implies an additional challenge: the man who seeks such a wife must search diligently to FIND her!

The topic of purity is a subject that needs to be focused on a lot ~ especially since we live in a generation where purity is blatantly devalued or sometimes, even disregarded. It is becoming increasingly more difficult for a godly-minded man to find a woman worthy of this high calling.

For young Christian women, many of the biggest challenges they face (in their teen years) will be related to the topic of purity! Often, when we think about purity, we associate it with immoral/physical behavior; however, purity is represented in the way we dress, the way we speak and conduct ourselves around others. Even our innermost thoughts—if they are truly pure—should reflect a standard of living that pleases God first and foremost.

PURITY IS A COMMAND

The command to be pure doesn’t end once married. It is a lifelong promise that mirrors God’s essence and character in our lives. First Peter 1:15-16 states: “But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.” It’s been said that, “Holiness is a characteristic unique to God’s nature that becomes the goal for human moral character.”

Many of us are familiar with First Corinthians 6:19-20—which says that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. As a believer in Christ, once accepting Jesus Christ as our Saviour, we have recognized that we were bought with a price. His death on the Cross has paid for our sin debt, and our body has now become the possession of God’s.

The Greek word used for temple in this passage is the same one that signifies “a sacred place” ~ the same word used throughout the Bible meaning “a sanctuary” (holy place). The Holy Spirit has taken up residence inside of us, and sin cannot reside with holiness. That’s why conviction (guilt) will nag away at one who is indulging in anything sinful and impure. We may attempt to push it away for a time being, but eventually, it will have to be addressed. Better to do it sooner than later! Because our bodies belong to God, we must not violate His standards for righteous living.

PURITY IS A COMMITMENT

The price of a virtuous woman is described as “far above rubies”. Rubies are the rarest of all the gemstones. They are known for their hardness (strength), durability, luster (shine) and rarity. Our purity is all of that, and it is going to require strength and long-lasting commitment to maintain it!

It’s also interesting to note that the word price in this verse can be defined as value or cost, and is comparable to an item being completely surrendered over (i.e. a daughter given in marriage). So, the price (worth) of a virtuous woman goes way beyond the expectations of what a man may be seeking! It means THEY ARE GETTING MORE THAN THEY BARGAINED FOR! J

It’s okay for us to be confident in the fact that God has created us with a purpose to be the “help meet” to a special man. In Genesis 2:18, God said that “It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him an help meet (fit) for him.” And Proverbs 18:22 concurs that “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing”. Taking a vow of purity will enhance a woman’s radiance, reaping joy and peace. More importantly, God is pleased with our allegiance.

PURITY IS A CHOICE

Ladies, what it comes down to, is the choices we make….the friends who influence us, the books we read and the places we go…These are some of the factors that will determine how “durable” that gemstone of purity really is! It is a rare treasure indeed.

Purpose now in your heart to not put yourself into any compromising situation. Protect your virtue at all costs, by having a battle plan ready, when faced with temptation. Use the Biblical truths of God’s Holy Word as your measuring stick and choose to humbly submit to its calling.

Here are some suggestions which can help purity remain a priority:

1.) Scripture memory is key! Hiding God’s Word in our heart is the best action we can employ to thwart sin (Psalm 119:11).

2.) Abstain from all appearance of evil. (1Thess. 5:22) Be aware of the

circumstances you place yourself in; if there is any question of integrity,

then remove yourself immediately from its presence or influence.

3.) Learn to recognize the Holy Spirit’s promptings He is real! If you

feel in your heart/soul that it’s wrong -- it probably is! Acting spiritually is a result of thinking spiritually. (Romans 8:5-8)

4.) Meditate on God’s Word daily His Word is the “Sword of the

Spirit”. (Eph. 6:17) Use it to defend yourself from Satan’s attacks on

your purity!

5.) Ask for prayer support If you’re struggling with certain

temptations, go to your parents (if a teen) or a trusted friend/adult, who can pray with you and offer godly counsel. Many women who have previously dealt with purity issues would welcome the opportunity to encourage you and support your decision to remain pure.

6.) Re-evaluate your motives and goals periodically Write them down,

and check where you’re at! Your walk with the Lord should always be

one going forward, not backwards. If you feel distant from Him, draw

closer, and He Will draw nearer to you~ that’s a promise in James 4:8!

How to draw closer? Read more, pray more, ask more, expect more!